Manufacturing Journal

American Manufacturers working together to compete globally in the 21st century

Sunday, April 17, 2005

We Have 50 Top Notch, Best Skilled Manufacturing Types in the US: Their Resumes Below:

PO Box 33
Cleveland, OH 44110
Phone: 216-628-454517
Fax: 216-628-454516
Email: Otto@mation.com


Resume for
Otto Mation


Career Objectives: To find a Machine Tending job that will satisfy my insatiable appetite for repetitious work.

Summary of Qualifications : I can continuously and accurately lift heavy loads without a break, and I will never get tired! You will not have to pay me any benefits. I will not come in late (in fact, I’ll never leave the shop floor!) I expect to be locked up in a cage in front of your machine, and forgotten about for hours at a time. I will never complain, even though I expect to get the toughest and most boring jobs in the company!

Education: My memory has been uploaded with all the logic and capabilities I will ever need. Once you tell me the specifics of the job you want me to run, I will never forget them or miss and operation.

Interests and Activities: I have no family life, social life, or any life for that matter, outside of working 24 hours per day, 365 days per year.

Languages: I speak most any language required to communicate with any machine tool, programmer, operator, computer, scheduler, web site, network, etc.

Work Experience: I am the product of decades of experience passed on by my predecessors. I have accumulated the latest in technology and have been designed specifically for companies that require flexible automation.

Hobbies: I especially enjoy monotonous, strenuous, and tedious jobs. I am also perfect for unsafe working conditions, and expect do the work that most operators dread!

Extracurricular Activities: Besides tending machines, I like to de-burr, wash, inspect, package, assemble, polish, and just about anything else you require of me.

References: Any innovative manufacturer that has seen the advantages of automating their machine tools. They will tell you that I can reduce your labor costs considerably, while increasing productivity and quality.

Compensation: For about $1,000 per month for five years, I will agree to work 24 hours per day, 364 days per year (I need about one day a year to keep in shape). I will also agree to work for FREE after the 1st five years! (I am expected to live 10 to 15 years with proper care!) I will never quit, and promise to work just as hard until my retirement! (No pension, watch, or party required!)
Thomas

Click here for more: "Save Your Factory"

1 Comments:

  • At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Sally said…

    This guy is everything i ever wanted!
    Will he remember to take out the trash?

     

Post a Comment

<< Home